7 habits

So, I just finished this book, The Leader in Me by Stephen Covey. I would characterize it as a sort of self help book for parents and educators, with the emphasis on the latter group.

While I found the book valuable, I would estimate that 75 percent of it is filler -- lots of fluffy first-person accounts from teachers and administrators about how wonderful the 7 habits are or how we need to raise our children to be able to function in this global 21st century where everybody speaks foreign languages and is on the Internet all the time. It's Chicken Soup for the educator's soul. But, like, what are the 7 habits already?

1. Be proactive -- do the right thing; 2. Begin with the end in mind -- set goals; 3. Put first things first -- prioritize!; 4. Think win-win -- balance your needs with others; 5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood -- self explanatory; 6. Synergize -- draw on other people's strengths; 7. Sharpen the saw -- eat right, exercise, sleep well, be in touch with your spiritual side.

I have to say, my saw needs some sharpening. I don't necessarily do any of those things. Spiritual moments are fleeting, even if Evi Kahre (a person trained in Eastern relaxation therapy in Tartu) has taught me home relaxation techniques. Eat right? That takes time and thought and I am hungry. Sleep well? Well, I do need it. Exercise? Only gained by walking. There is no time for the gym in my life.

I particular enjoyed the idea of the family mission statement. I think that we have one -- basically, allowing each individual to attain their maximum satisfaction in life. And here is where I sort of stray from the book, which puts an emphasis on visionary leadership. Do I really want Marta to grow up to be just like Mahatma Gandhi or Martin Luther King, Jr. [both of whom were assassinated]? That seems a bit of a stretch.

I don't want my kids to be civil rights leaders, unless that's what they want to be, of course; I just want them to be personally satisfied with their lives and avoid the self-destructive behavior brought on by feelings of uselessness or purposelessness. In both Epp and my family we have close relatives who have destroyed their lives with drugs and or alcohol, for instance. The ultimate dream for a child in the 21st century is that they are positive, balanced, happy people capable of functioning in a society that can be pretty intrusive and demanding. I mean, when you are supposed to be accessible by e-mail or phone at all times of the day, then you lose some time for saw sharpening.

Marta, I think, is developing well. She has philosophy class with other kids, and she has gymnastics. She could sleep and eat better. She is a night owl. She gets the munchies every night at about 9 pm. "Daddy, my tummy is hungry. It needs food." And since I also snack late at night, it's kind of hard to say no when you yourself are shoveling a cookie in your mouth.

Well, anyway, I am going to go walk to the store to sharpen my saw. Maybe I will have some spiritual thoughts along the way.