what it's like

Often people ask me questions about the trip to and fro Estonia. I think they assume it's either a) "monstrously long" or b) "not so bad, I mean you made it here, right?" I would say it's actually somewhere in between, with a lot left up to chance.

I think it actually depends on when you begin counting the journey. It typically starts a day before with a packing ritual and, no matter how hard you try, you always leave something behind.

This time I left behind my antibiotics, because I became somewhat feverish as I tried to repack our bags to make all the stuff we had decided to lug across the ocean fit. I had enough to fill one small bag. My daughters and wife, however, had tons of shit. We're talking wardrobe. And there's no way you can really reduce a girl's wardrobe -- you know that they actually made huge sacrifices -- a pair of shoes there, a scarf here -- to get to their belongings into four or five large suitcases.

Part two of the trip is the journey to the airport. If you are leaving from Tartu, it will take you two to two and a half hours to get to the Tallinn airport. The last time, we drove up early in the AM. There was barely any traffic. This time, when we drove home from Tallinn, I had to deal with the usual kamikazes who think they can pass at all times, even in the face of oncoming traffic! If you leave from Setauket, it takes a little over an hour to get to JFK. This is all of course depending on traffic.

After you get to the airport, check your bags, and get your tickets, producing the correct passports -- Marta and Anna both have dual citizenship -- at the right time. When they leave Estonia, we show the Estonian passports. When they enter and leave the US we show the American ones. When we go through EU customs in Helsinki, we produce the Estonian ones again.

At security, you must remove your shoes and laptops and belts and your kids shoes and fold the stroller and do anything to please the inspectors. This is no easy task. Try taking off your shoe and holding a baby at the same time. It takes talent!

Finally, you get to board the plane. This is the one advantage of having kids with you when you travel -- you get to go first. If you fly out of Tallinn, you take a shuttle to Helsinki airport. The actual flight takes about 10 minutes, but then there's the landing, which takes forever. Planes climb above the clouds, only to cross the tiny Gulf of Finland, and circle to land in Helsinki-Vantaa. On board they serve you a bottled water and a chocolate.

The Helsinki-New York flight is a monster. It's usually full. The food and service is good, and I have no complaints. The last time, it took us 7 hours and 20 minutes to get from point A [New York] to point B [Helsinki]. People think that's long, but it's only an hour and a half more than a flight to the West Coast.

I have taken this flight so many times, I know where all the important points are. Typically, after take off, dinner, toilet, and the first movie, you are nearing Iceland. Anna and Marta usually fall asleep at this point. Another two films and you are closing in on your destination -- maybe over New Hampshire or Sweden.

The winds on the straight between Greenland and Labrador are typically strong, as are the winds off the coast of Norway. If it gets bumpy, you are usually over the coast of Newfoundland or just over Trondheim. The mountains that run down the spine of the Scandinavian peninsula also give you a few bumps. Finally, you circle and land in Helsinki and have to wake up Marta and Anna. If you are like me and you can't sleep on planes, you feel a little tired, but still coherent. It's that second connection to Tallinn that really sucks the life out of you.

Tallinn does have a homey quality from the sky. I can see the zoo and the houses where Epp's aunt lives and the hospital where Marta was born. It is not a foreign place to me. I get the same feeling when we cross the Long Island sound and I can look down and see the tiny cars driving on the Long Island Expressway. It reminds me of the intro to feature presentations HBO used to show in the 80s.

Unlike me, it seems our kids have no anxiety about flying. Anna gets on and she gets off. Marta seems to enjoy it. They have mostly been well behaved on flights. Only one time I had to force Marta to get up from under the seat and she bit me! I had a lump on my arm from where her tiny jaws had attempted to hurt me for making her wear her seat belt.

Issipapa Justin is in charge of luggage and, ultimately, getting us home. This time we went to our friend Tiia's apartment and slept for four hours because I decided I was in no shape to contend with the Estonian kamikaze drivers after a trip that could be calculated to last between 8 and 10 hours. But with a little coffee and some loud Estonian pop music on the radio, I made it down the weary highways of this land until we finally reached Tartu, best described as a European city that was airlifted by UFOs and dropped in the middle of nowhere.

The kids slept in the car too, which means that just when Issipapa Justin wanted to get some rest after a long trip home, they were ready to rock and roll. Ah, ain't this the life! So that's basically what it takes to get from Estonia to New York or vice versa. It demands endurance, but I have done it so many times it doesn't seem so taxing. I am sure the flight to Australia is a whole other experience.