the conversations couples have

The other day we were in the car with Tiia and Paul. "Paul" is what Marta's name most likely would have been had she been born a fierce viking instead of a sparkly princess. This prompted the following dialogue:

Epp: What do you think we would have named Marta had she been a boy?

Justin: I think we were leaning towards "Paul Martin."

Epp: But Paul is taken. What would we call a boy now?

Tiia: Peeter!

Justin: Peeter sounds nice in Estonian, but in English it gets annoying. Don't touch that Peter. Stop doing that, Peter. It's time to go to bed, Peter. Plus my dad would have some kind of mental breakdown.

Tiia: I don't think Peter sounds bad in English at all.

Justin: Martin sounds bad in English, too. It can never be Martin; it's always "Marty," and, in New York, it's "Mah-ty."

Epp: We'll we have agreed to use family names. If you veto Peeter and Martin, then I veto Sam. What are we left with?

Justin: Well, we are all stocked up on Franks. Is Vincent a name in Estonia?

Epp and Tiia: What name?

Justin: Vincent. It sounds good to yell out a window, "VIN - CENT!"

Epp: I don't think my grandma would even know that one. She'd have to write it down on a sheet of paper just so she could tell the neighbors.

Justin:Well, that's the problem with using family names. There are no Salvatores, Gennaros, or Dominicks in Estonia, are there? You don't know anyone named Dominic, right?

Epp and Tiia: What name?

Justin: Dominic. Dom-i-nic.

Epp: What's Toomas in Italian?

Justin: Tomasso

Epp: Well, what are we left with? Karl? John ... Johannes?

Justin: Well, my grandfather was Jerry, and he had three brothers, George, Robert, and John. How about Georg?

Epp: George as in George Bush? No. What about Fred?

Tiia: Eh.

Justin: Fred sounds like a cool old guy, but I can't imagine him being a cool young guy.

Epp: Tell me about the Fred in your family.

Justin: His father operated a foundry and he was born in Ontario but they moved to Montreal. Somehow he wound up ranching and met my great-grandmother's sister who was in Wild West Shows and moved to New York.

Epp: Her sister?

Justin: Yep. They had two kids; then she died and he married my great-grandma and had five more. Ah, the Irish.

Epp: That happened on both sides of your family?!

Justin: Yes.

Epp: What about Eerik, after my grandfather? Maybe it sounds too Germanic?

Justin: That's the problem with Estonian names. It's all Ragnars and Dagmars.

Epp: I like Fred Erik

Justin: But in English it's one name. Frederik.

Epp: But I like it as two names.

Justin: But it's one name.

Tiia: I don't like Fred, but it sounds nice as Fred Erik.

and so on ...

UPDATE: There is now an official Sarah Palin baby name generator. The mother of Track, Bristol, Piper, Willow, and Trig, has given it her blessing. According to the generator, if she was my mother, my name would be "Stag Tonnage Palin."